push_movie_posterSwanner: Last night Brian and I saw Push. Push is the new Chris Evans film about a group of people who are being chased by the government because they were born with psychic powers. It’s almost a less fabulous X-men, imagine a lot less of everything. The reason I sound veg is because the movie was so disjointed I’m not really sure what was happening half the time. Was this easier for you to digest?

Judd: The movie sucked. But of course it’s a February release with Chris Evans and Dakota Fanning – if the studios had confidence in the film they would have released it at another time. Anyway, the movie sets itself up to be some epic story of struggle reaching back to WW II. What it is, is a flimsy, over-stylized, one dimensional, shallow story of good versus bad and other bad with a dash of romance thrown in to keep it interesting.

Swanner: I was hoping it wasn’t just me that was struggling with it. I do want to say that I thought the cast was really good. So I don’t blame them for this mess. It seems like they are trying to start some movie version of the TV series Heroes. Where no one knows what’s happening (cast or audience) and we’re held hostage till they inform us there will be a sequel…like two more hours will help us make sense of all of this. I’d say this felt a lot like last years Jumpers but Jumpers at least had an obvious plot but that’s not to say it’s better. You’re right about one thing, if you had a good Chris Evans/Dakota Fanning movie you certainly wouldn’t be releasing it in February.

Judd: The plot was so full of holes, it really didn’t matter what made sense and what didn’t. All that matters is that good guys and the two separate bad guys are after the same thing and it’s up to the good guys to use their powers to trick the bad guys into killing each other – Oh, and this legend was foretold in its entirety 20 years beforehand, but the future is always changing, obviously not. Clear as mud? That’s the movie in a nutshell.

Swanner: I had no idea what was happening most of the time. I did like the Asian family a lot. The lollipop girl had way cool hair and her brothers screamed a lot. After a while I just started thinking about how cute Chris Evans is and how I wished I was watching a different Chris Evans’ movie…one where he was wearing less. I kind of really hated this movie and I prey to God they never make a sequel.

Judd: Chris was awfully covered up throughout the whole film, and I’m not the kind that always needs a little skin in the movie – unlike Tom – but I was hoping there would be at least one shirtless scene. Come on, it’s Chris Evans! All I required was just a brief glimpse of his hot sexy fuzzy furriness, and I got nothing. I would have given the movie an extra star! You hear that studios!?!?! You missed out on an extra star!!! An extra staaaaaarrrr!

Swanner: 1 Star
Judd: 1 Star

Confessions of a Shopaholic | The International

confessions_of_a_shopaholicSwanner: Once again, there are so many good things coming out that Brian and I had to see different movies this week. Brian saw the new Clive Owen movie The International while I went to se Confessions of a Shopaholic. Brian did get to spend two hours with sexy Owen but I got to see the better movie. Confession was such a cute show and you know how I love my romantic comedies. Isla Fisher plays Rebecca Bloomwood a young woman who pretty much can’t walk pass a store without buying something. She works as a journalist who is trying work her way up the corporate ladder from a finance magazine to a fashion rag.

Judd: Who can even trust you anymore? You go see any piece of shit romcom and it automatically starts at three stars. In fact, I’m willing to bet our readers don’t even read what you have to say when it comes to romantic comedy reviews, they just read my insults. You’re fat. In the mean time, while I won’t say you saw the better movie, it couldn’t have been much worse than The International starring the adequate looking Clive Owens and the ever-forgettable Naomi Watts. The move is a routine good cop bad cop duo trying to bust an arms dealing international bank.

Swanner: Did he take off his shirt at all. It’s worth seeing any movie that Clive Owens takes off his clothes…did he? Was this one as bad as Children of Men? Mine was really fun. Isla Fisher was so cute and funny in movies like Wedding Crashers and Defiantly Maybe where she played a supporting role but here she is the lead and the whole movie stems around her. She has nothing to worry about, this movie should open well and make her a bona fide movie star. You’d probably like her love interest Hugh Dancy. He’s cute enough but he’s too skinny…just the way you like’um.

Judd: I don’t remember if Clive took off his shirt, he does nothing for me. My movie was not fun in the least. It suffered from a meandering plot, huge inconsistencies, and a wholly unsatisfying ending. Every character in the movie, except for Clive’s was superfluous. Even the bad guy turned out to be pointless. Watts’ character disappeared in the last ¼ of the movie. The only thing worth seeing in the movie was a gun fight in the Guggenheim. Hugh Dancy looks like a young Tom Everett Scott. I approve.

Swanner: I figured you would. If I see a guy and think “he needs a sandwich” I figure you would approve. He was good in my movie, but the movie really belongs to Fisher. It was really funny and it never takes itself too seriously. The one thing I think you would hate is that it never goes too far as they wanted to keep the PG rating. It was a good film for young girls…like myself who need to learn the lessons of life. We learn that “you shouldn’t buy it if you can’t afford it”. Which has always been my motto. That and “he needs a sandwich”

Judd: Oh god, a PG romcom? Not even PG-13? That is just plain sad. The International was rated R for violence, but that didn’t help it any. I would not recommend The International even as a rental, and even though I didn’t see Shopaholic, I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone, either.

Swanner: Confessions of a Shopaholic was a bit cliché but what Romcom isn’t. It was really funny and there were good performances all around. It moved well and the script was great.

Confessions of a Shopaholic 3 Stars
The International: 1 Star