I Love You, Man!

Swanner: Ever since i saw the preview, I’ve been wanting to see I Love You, Man which is the new Paul Rudd movie. The preview was very funny about a man (Rudd) who has just become engaged and overhears his fiancé and her friends talking about how he has no male friends and that means no best man. So Judd’s journey is to find a best “male” friend to round out his almost perfect existence.

Judd: I have to admit i was taken back when i realized that this wasn’t a Judd Apatow production. I mean it had Paul Rudd in it and he must be under contract to Apatow, he even showed up in Forgetting Sarah Marshall and the surf instructor. It turns out the director is the screenwriter of Meet The Fockers franchise John Hamburg.

Swanner: I didn’t realize it till the closing credits. It had all the same humor so i was pretty shocked…but pleasantly shocked. This gives me so much hope that comedies are well on their way back. It was also nice to see an “R” rated comedy.

Judd: The reason you didn’t know is that you don’t research your movies before the screenings. It shows a lack of professionalism but then again with you’re advanced age i guess it’s expected. I do like the adult oriented comedies as well. Why do you have to make a movie appropriate for a 13 that has to do with a late 30’s man finding male friends? You don’t so why does Hollywood insist on making that are PG-13?

Swanner: Box Office?

Judd: Of course they do it for the box office fatty, it was rhetorical. It’s like making a G rated Holocaust movie, it’s ridiculous but then Hollywood isn’t known for it’s smart choices. It was also nice to see Jason Segal (Forgetting Sarah Marshall) in another leading role. He’s not a great looking guy but he knows how to work the humor out of a the script and If you remember him in Forgetting Sarah Marshall then you’ll realize why the blue man in Watchmen was so familiar. Rudd’s fiancé (Rashida Jones) was fine in the role but basically forgettable. It might have been that Rudd and Jamie Pressly (her girl pal) dominate every scene they share.

Swanner: Pressly was really good. Her and her on-screen husband Jon Favreau are hysterical with their example of a bad marriage. I also loved seeing Jane Curtain and J.K. Simmon, they did a nice job as Rudd’s parents. Andy Samberg rounds out the cast as Rudd’s gay brother who gives him tips on how to find a man. I found myself laughing far into the next scenes and missing a lot of dialog so i will want to see it on DVD but you should really see it in the theatre cause there is really nothing like 500 people all laughing at the same time.

Judd: I’m glad you have such a good time with 500 rude people. People were talking all around me. It’s not that i’m a prude but do i really need to have a blow by blow announcement about every nuance the movie reveals. Give me my big screen flat panel and surround sound and talking Tina and her trailer park husband can share the obvious with the audience sitting around them.

Swanner: I’m certainly looking forward to seeing the movie again. The script is smart and funny with enough crude moments to validate my funny bone. There is a vomit scene that is right up there with the best. Rudd and Segel really have great chemistry together so I’d expect to see these two crossing paths again.

Swanner ***1/2
Judd***1/2

Fired Up!

Swanner: Last night i saw the newest cheerleader movie called Fired Up! and i loved it. I know Brian is going to be mad at me but i don’t care. I’m going to tell you the storyline and you’re going to think i’m stupid too but anyway…here it goes. Two star football players ditch football camp to attend cheerleading camp. Once in the camp they slowly but surely learn the joy of cheer and of course fall for some of the girls.

Judd: Once again, I’d like to apologies to who were our loyal readers. I say were since i’m sure if anyone has listened to you and have gotten burned on some stupid ass movie that you got all giggly over, they aren’t loyal anymore. The only solace i can offer is that my schooling will be done in May and you can once again trust this calm voice of sanity. I’m sure that Tom has his hands on his hips and is reacting something like Devine after being told she’s not pretty.

Swanner: You didn’t even see the movie. It was really funny. I’m sure you would have liked it. The dialog was snappy and smart. The performances were all good. I especially liked the supporting people who made throw away roles classic. One thing that Brian would hate is that everyone in the movie has a clever come backs…but i figure that if it ‘s funny it doesn’t matter if everyone sound like a 35 year old Jewish comedy writer.

Judd: You used the word snappy. Snappy! All these years of building a readership fan base has just been shoot down. I hope you’re proud of yourself. Okay, since we have nothing to lose, let me play along. Were the guys cute? Did the girls have big boobs? Did the moral of the story come through in the end??? We all really want to know.

Swanner: Well of course the guys are cute and there are plenty of boobs. As far as the ending, I don’t want to ruin it for anyone so let me just say don’t worry about being disappointed…the ending was good. This all seemed sort of charmed. The script is fast paced and well, snappy. It reminded be of really good dialog like in Animal House or Ghostbusters. The two leads are very charismatic, played by Nicholas D’agosto and Eric Christian Olsen . This movie should prove to be their breakout roles.

Judd: I bet. I’ll be sure to watch for all the publicity and it heats up over this amazing movie. Are you done now? This sounds like another romantic comedy dressed up to look like a teen sex comedy. And look, it’s rated PG-13 so all your 12 year old girlfriends can see the movie too. This looks to be another stereotypic bullshit teen movie with no redeeming qualities unless you can count that it’s perfect for your next sleepover.

Swanner: You think your so cool…but you are totally a Panther and everyone knows the Panthers are all conceded bitches.

Judd: All i hear are the rambling of a big fat girl. Hey that might be a good name for you autobiography.

Swanner ***1/2

He's Just Not That Into You

Swanner: Last night we saw He’s Just Not That Into You, the new chick flick about how women over analyze and men just don’t really give a crap. It has an all star cast that includes Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Connelly, Drew Barrymore, Justin Long, Ben Affeck and that’s just a few of the people in the show. There are a lot more, but the important thing here is that it’s a real ensemble cast. No one is really pushed into the “starring” role and I liked that. I really had a good time. This is one of those movies I can’t wait to see again. I loved it.

Judd: It’s your run of the mill estrogen fest with the added benefit of being well written. The performances are decent, but it offers hope to the modern relationship and we know that’s all but doomed. Hearing that you loved it is no surprise since you think love is all hearts and flowers and always end happily… just like your last relationship, right? Face it, movies like this are just like nicotine gum, sure you’re happy while you’re chewing it, but as soon as you spit it out you’re smoking any butt in the ashtray you can actually light. Who in their right mind would date any of these characters?

Swanner: I actually found myself relating to a couple of the characters.

Judd: Of course you did. Let me guess, Jennifer Aniston’s “I want to be married and in love forever” character and probably Jennifer Connelly’s “I know I can’t trust anyone” character… tell me I’m right.

Swanner: A little bit I guess.

Judd: You are such a big girl, and you’re fat. I knew when Ben Affeck said he didn’t want to get married that you’d be all pouty about poor Jennifer Aniston. Maybe some people don’t need a marriage license to actually have feelings for someone else. That’s what pisses me off about this whole Prop 8 thing — but I don’t want to turn this into a political rant. Just let me take the opportunity to reiterate, you are a big fat girl.

Swanner: Hopefully you are done dragging me through the streets and we can talk about the movie again.

Judd: If you insist.

Swanner: I thought the script and the editing were really good the way we bounced around from one character to the next and never got confused. I really hated Scarlett Johansson’s character, but I guess there has to be a character like hers in a movie about relationships.

Judd: You mean a 3 dimensional character that’s somewhat reality based?

Swanner: I mean a selfish whore that cares nothing about whether a man is happily married and doesn’t want to cheat on his wife so I’ll just shake my tits in his face till he cheats.

Judd: Ah, reality. Wake up Pollyanna, people are selfish and are out to ruin your happiness. It’s called life and maybe you should open your eyes and see just how seedy people can be.

Swanner: This movie really seemed to touch off something in you. I haven’t seen you this worked up since they changed the night Lawrence Welk came on. Maybe you found the film a little too close for comfort. I did feel your character was left out of the story. The sexless recluse that doesn’t even look at porn anymore because it’s too much like committing and just drinks alone every night till he passes out.

Judd: I still look at porn, Fatty. I turn it off as soon as I feel it’s asking too much of me and I start getting claustrophobic. He’s Just Not That Into You is a well-written, though too long, movie about idiots who still think Mr. Right is waiting to be found. I just worry for all those people who won’t remember it’s just a movie and think of it as some guide to finding their soul mate (I just threw up a little in my mouth)

Swanner: I loved that it gives hope to the modern relationship and says that maybe, just maybe, people can be in love forever.

Judd: You make me sick.

Swanner: ***1/2
Judd: **1/2