Swanner: I always say this, but I’m really not a fan of remakes. Every once in a while it works, but usually it doesn’t. Once again, in the case of Total Recall … it didn’t. It’s not that Colin Farrell doesn’t make a much better leading man or that the special effects aren’t far superior. They all are. It’s the plot or the script…something. For the entire film nothing happened even though everything was blowing up and bullets were flying everywhere. Based on a story by Phillip K. Dick the writers Kurt Wimmer and Mark Bomback did everything they could to create a really long chase sequence. It lasted two hours.
Judd: Having not seen the original Total Recall, I’m not one of those with emotional attachment to the original who are deeply offended by a remake. All I know is that Total Recall was a Schwarzenegger movie that starred a woman with three tits. Colin Farrell took the Schwarzenegger role, I assume, and there was a woman with three tits, so for all I know it was a shot-for-shot remake. That being the case, I don’t know why they remade it. As Tom said, for two hours the movie vacillated between 5 minutes of “Is this really real?” and 20 minutes of a chase back to 5 minutes of “Is this really real?”. Yawn. What made it worse was the overuse of CGI and hyper-busy landscape. It looked like 10 pounds digitally rendered shit in a 5 pound bag.
Swanner: Wow. I thought I didn’t like it. Besides the actors, who I thought did really well with what little they had to work with, I really like the art direction. Maybe it was 10 pounds of digitally rendered shit but it was really appropriate for this film. It was very reminiscent of Blade Runner, but not quite as dark. Director Len Wiseman, who is known for writing all and directing a few of the Underworld films, which I always though felt like music videos, made me think that the lack of focus might have actually have been his fault in the film. It’s really hard to place blame so let me just say this thing was a mess.
Judd: Well it certainly isn’t the fault of the actors. Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Bryan Cranston, Jessica Biel and Bill Nighy are the major players here and, outside of Biel, are top-notch actors. The blame lies on both Wiseman and screenwriters Wimmer and Bomback, individually responsible for such gems as Law Abiding Citizen and Unstoppable respectively. While I am not a fan of science fiction, I will admit that sci-fi plots are usually very intricate and involved. Total Recall is a one-dimensional mess that tries to distract the audience from its lack of story with constant action. Honestly, I’m surprised this wasn’t shown in 3D.
Swanner: I was thinking the same thing. This mess missed its 3D calling. It wouldn’t have helped, but it certainly would have been the right project to try 3D as a way of increasing the box-office take. One thing that bugged me was Farrell’s character removes the phone from his hand that they are using to track him with yet they are always on his tail. Out of nowhere Beckinsale shows up to spoil the good time, but that’s just one hole in this mess. If you’re really into to mindless action and explosions…this is your film. If you want sci-fi with a good script and story…see Dark Knight Rises again.
Judd: We’re getting into the dregs of late summer and Total Recall is the perfect kickoff, a misguided attempt at remaking a classic. My standards have officially been lowered for the season.
Swanner:
Judd: